Cinco de Mayo; An Excuse to Get Drunk

Alcoholics everywhere agree. Cinco de Mayo should become a national holiday in the United States. While nobody gives a crap about the meaning of the Mexican holiday, it has become a great excuse to get drunk. Americans share a deep bond to their neighbor from the South. This relationship has been established by Americans taking a basic Spanish course and eating at Taco Bell. People should also share a deeper appreciation from ordering an extra value meal from McDonalds prepared by a Mexican immigrant.

May already has Memorial Day Weekend to get plastered, but feelings across the nation indicate that Cinco de Mayo would help unite a divided nation. Protesters against the War in Iraq and want our troops to come home and feel guilty for drinking.

President George W. Bush should definetely consider this proposal to mediate tensions in time of crisis. Being a former alcoholic himself, Bush can sympathize with his constituents and set forth a new pplan that will also raise his approval ratings from record lows. He can live up to his catch phrase of being "a uniter, not a divider". He should set forth a order from the executive branch that will make Cindo de Mayo a national holiday. This will allow for the American worker to recuperate from a massive hangerover on Monday. The policy for a three day weekend should also be extended to St. Patrick's day and Super Bowl Weekend.